Today my car was repossessed.
There, I said it.
I feel it. I feel the judgment. I know you have questions.
Guess what. More than embarrassed about my car being repossessed, I’m embarrassed by the how and why.
Before the was Entrepreneur Media to call my employment home, there was Know More Media. It was the bestest job a fledgling college grad chomping at the bit for a publishing gig could ask for…But…as so many startups do, Know More Media went under and with its collapse, I was unemployed for 6 months. No savings, just a cheap apartment, a laptop and a car that got me around town.
With a note bigger than the rent on my cheap apartment.
And I missed a few payments.
When I finally did get a job, it was always about playing financial catchup. Nothing ever got paid on time and my checking account is almost always in the negative before the next pay check comes.
Sure my life is dramatically different: more money, reliable transportation, a great deal an a cute place, kid in a good school. Single mom living the life.
But sometimes getting bills paid is fucking hard.
And sometimes I have to make choices where neither option is desirable. Pay the electricity bill or the phone bill. Pay the rent or be evicted. Pay the cable/internet bill or put gas in my car. Pay the car note or get food.
These are the choices I face.
And I want to get to a place where I’m not scraping for the basics and ends still not meeting. I’ve been entertaining various ways to make that happen and honestly the only one that seems remotely appealing is working more. Busting my butt until I’m drawing from a steady stream of freelance projects to be in business. The kind of business that can provide a nice life for me and my kids.
So yeah, my car got repossessed. Shit happens. I’ll get over it and get another after I save the cash. I’ll start seeing what kind of support system I have out here, where I really feel like I’m isolated and alone (Not the big bad world silly, just in the new city. I’ve only been here a year). I’m really hoping one of the parents around here will let the boy hang out with their kid in the morning because I have to leave so early to get on the bus. Last resort, I’ll give him a key and teach him to get himself out of the house in the morning.
You do what you have to do right?
I’ll get all my ducks in a row this weekend and starting Monday, I’m on public transportation.
I’m really worried about how my grandmother will get her medicine until I have a car again.
I’m sorry to read this. I think you’re an incredibly brave woman. You can do this! Everyone has had days, weeks, and years where the bills get juggled. I know you’ll find a way out!
.-= On a limb with Claudia´s last blog ..Conquer your doubt. =-.
Truth is that most people on the internet would not put themselves out there like that. We don’t always have the courage to tell the truth about our situations. I do believe that we have all been there at one time or another. Repossession it happens to a lot of people, most won’t admit it, they give you lies like oh my car is in the shop “Yeah right for 3 months?” or they tell you about that fake accident that totaled their car, but the next night they went out the club and was bouncing off the walls and shit. Again yeah right, we all have issues that arise and we don’t always know what to do but truth is truth, is double truth. Repossession, been there done that, foreclosure been there done that. I wouldn’t say I was there alone but at the time when it happen I sure did feel alone.
The bigger issue in my eyes is when it happens to you, that you take the time to explore the reasons why it happen in the first place. Were you over extended? Had you just moved to a new area and didn’t have enough put away. Living check to check has been a way of life for me and I even did those nasty “payday loans” on more than one occasion. That was not fun, but take the time to look at how it happen, and make some changes even if small in your life so that the same thing does not have to happen again. Or at least you change the cycle…
Negative bank accounts been there done that, although since I took a good look at myself, it has not happen for over 2 years now, I could claim that as just my savy book keeping but the truth is I did it because I cared enough about myself to stop the madness of living check to check and turning every extra dime into extra for me and mine.
cheer up, I know your past this but keep moving forward and the rest will follow 🙂
.-= Jayson´s last blog ..Social Media could be Social Crap if you don’t research =-.