Earlier this week I took the boy to pick up his new bike. The next day we rode to the school together. He was so excited. It was like a new level of cool. I could tell other kids were a little jealous and even the school cook yelled out “Cool bike!”
I provided him with a note granting my permission to ride his bike to school, to which the school responded that it was against the district policy to allow kids in his grade to ride to school on a bike.
I was pissed* because they hadn’t even asked any questions (even though I specifically invited them to call me if they had any and included two numbers). I immediately left a message for the principal wasn’t really sure what to do. First thing I needed to do was find that policy. If it wasn’t on the books and publicly available, they really wouldn’t have a leg to stand on. I also emailed Free-Range kids, to get some other ideas from the free-range community before I had my next conversation with a school admin. There were a bunch of great suggestions, most of which echoed the do your homework, contact the board, do it anyway and find somewhere to lock the bike off campus. (Thanks Free-Range Kids!)
Then I started to think about whether or not it was really worth the fight. Was it something we really needed or was it just me fighting the system (I have a tendency to want to make my own rules). I decided this was something the boy and I needed for a few reasons:
1. I don’t have a car
2. I use a combination of bike/bus as transportation
3. I would be riding with him
4. The after-school getting home from the after school program takes longer by bus, than by bike
You see, beyond my objections as a free-range parent, I had some good reasons to fight this policy. So I sent an email to the school board and the superintendent explaining my situation and asking that they be willing to consider my case. I kept digging around for the policy and couldn’t find it. I also sent him to school with the bike the following day. If there was no policy, they couldn’t really say no. Before I left work, I put in a call to the school board office. Bureaucrats have a tendency to drag their feet, so I wanted to speak to someone as quickly as possible (don’t worry, I wasn’t all panicked on the phone, I just wanted to talk to a human).
As I was making my commute to work I received a call from the principal. She was sorry but this was the district policy and it was her job to enforce it. I tried to explain my situation: but I ride with him and I don’t have a car, this is how we will get home together when I’m picking him up. And I would need her to show me the policy. She had quick responses: even if I rode with him, he couldn’t lock his bike on campus and ride home by himself and even if he didn’t ride home by himself, the bike could not be locked on school property. It is the policy. If I wanted to fight it, I could go to the school board (I don’t think she really expected me to do it).
I found myself feeling sorry for her, thinking that she was just an enforcer. The principal had no real power (or so it seems) to examine individual circumstances (I think mine were compelling) and make rare exceptions on a case-by-case basis. That evening the boy handed me the policy documentation, but somehow I knew this would work in my favor.
So today, I sent him with his bike anyway. And this afternoon, I got the call that the school board agreed to my request, granted the boy obeys the rules and I ride with him in the morning.
VICTORY!
I thanked the principal for working with me and told her to have a great weekend. When I picked the boy up, he did a little victory dance. I was relieved to have successfully bended the rules and not just because I had an abstract philosophical objection. It might not work for everyone, but for me, I feel like this saved my life.
* I have to admit that I’m not in favor of quite a few school policies. I think kids have way too much homework, uniforms take away their freedom of expression (yes I let my kids pick their own clothes), NCLB is not working, teachers have no creative freedom and the public school system is meant to socialize kids into being worker bee drones. I do a lot of reprogramming and deprogramming.
I think you have done well. You have also discovered that School Boards respond fairly predictably to vocal parents (barring violent acts, and a few other things). I think that if more parents took a more involved stance to their children’s education, our schools would be in a lot better shape, and the kids would be FAR better off.
Good work, Kimberlee!
Tray M.
That’s Tray! The woman I spoke to at the school board’s office (probably an assistant) asked if I had explained to the principal and admitted that the pricipal was probably just defending the policy. The woman was much more willing to listen and I suppose they (the school board) figured if its important enough for me to call and email them, it must be important.
That should say *thanks Tray*
Doh!
Brilliant! Nice one, Kim.
.-= Martin´s last blog ..The joy of violence =-.
But did they give the boy specific permission, or did they change the policy? Hopefully the boy will be a visible example to others, but I wonder what will happen when the next boy or girl wants to ride to school.
Congratulations! Glad you got what you needed without too much drama. Hope you have many happy rides together.
@Rich: they made an exception to the policy for my boy. The principal did decide to make the school policy the same as district policy which is to allow kids grade 3 and older to ride bikes to school. Not a full-blown victory for the free-range movement but definitely an important win for me. I guess the next boy’s parents will have to fight their own battle.
Good for you, and especially for you son. He’s learning what it truly means to be a kid, at the same time learning to be confident, self-sufficient, standing up for his beliefs, and to not be fearful.
Keep up the great parenting. The more parents who encourage free-range parenting, the more others can start living less in fear, and more like we did 20+ years ago. Everyone was so much more relaxed then.
Yay! Good for you. I hope you have many wonderful bike rides together and that other parents will follow your example.
I love it! Our school is instituting BMI monitoring next year, while forbidding kids in k-2 to ride bikes to school and making the standard punishment for any infraction loss of recess time. Both oxymoronic and regular-flavor moronic, if you ask me.
If you are riding with him I have no idea why they would think that a problem. We have the same rule at Boo’s school, but that is because kids under the age limit are not able to judge distance of cars and stuff or something… whatever, YAY YOU.
However, I totally agree with school uniforms. And very thankful that they are compulsory in most schools in Australia.
I love how you handled this rationally, calmly, and respectfully. What a great way to model the appropriate way to deal with a disagreement. The Boy is lucky to have such a smart mama!
My 3rd grader walks or bikes to school by himself every day. He usually spends time at the playground after school before coming home without me present and also goes to and from his martial arts classes solo. He of course wears a helmet, carries a visible backpack, and has front and back lights on his bike.