I’ve always been sort of an introspective loner, an introverted extrovert rather. Its not that I don’t know how to turn on the charm when I’m out, its getting out that’s the problem.
Since I’m more introverted than extroverted, I tend to isolate myself. Especially, during times when I feel depression creeping on me. Now please don’t be alarmed…I am not clinically depressed, but every now and again, I get weighed down by a sadness I can’t shake very easily. And there’s nothing wrong really. I mean, great job, great kid, great love…what could possibly be wrong?
I just feel like something is missing right now, and that something is my social life. The only problem is that when I get down, I withdraw, which obviously doesn’t bode well with wanting to make new friends and go out on the town…
And what am I to do? Go sit alone at a bar? Try to shoehorn my way into the lives of my co-workers? Sit at the coffee shop on Saturdays hoping someone will talk to me? What am I supposed to do to push myself out of this hole? I don’t want to be needy, but I know I need some adult interaction outside of work and Plurk.
Its not just that I want someone to hang out with, I need someone to talk to, confide in, give me a hug…I feel lonely. And I know lonely is internal…but I can’t help but think that if I had people, real life people, to call when I wanted to go out for drinks, or to catch a show in LA, that I’d be less lonely.
But then again, maybe I wouldn’t be…
((HUG))) i know the feeling well 🙁 . I wish I had advice on how to find those real life friends and social life while feeling antisocial, I’m sorry.
“Melancholy.”
That’s what I am. I’m grateful, and happy for the most part… but always a little down. It’s all in my head, I know, but it’s my natural state of things.
If you’re looking for a word, I think that one fits it best.
<3
I think these feelings are the feelings of late winter, early spring. Imagine the tiny seed – just getting ready to burst into action, but still frightened by the cold. Maybe you are a person who feels the seasons deeply. That is a gift – as are you.