I was challenged by a friend and mentor to do some self evaluation as I start the new year. We’re meeting in a couple hours, so I guess now is as good a time as any to think about some introspection done.
The assignment: figure out what I want to leave behind, what I want to take with me and what I want to add to my life in 2009.
*I actually ran out of time so the work was done at her house and now I share with you, dear friends and readers*
It would seem simple to decide what you want to leave behind. Every year obviously comes with its struggles; personally I’d like to leave all of those things in the past. Of course you can truly only leave behind what you can honestly let go of. Other things will continue to be a work in progress. The trick is figuring out which is which…
In order to answer these questions, I have to look at some landmark events of 2008. There was the Know More Media layoff *cries* which of course ended up being bittersweet. I loved the job, but it had become time to move on. I might not have done it so quickly, had I not been forced to by suddenly becoming unemployed.
Interestingly, I also became super productive. Not that I hadn’t been productive in my job, but I had gotten into a bit of a rut (it’s so hard to admit that) and being productive on a day job – no matter how much you love it – is not the same as being productive on something you decided to do…just because. I had never felt tied to a desk with KMM, I could work from anywhere. But when I was laid off, I had nothing but time to write, read and find a job…quick.
While money seemed to be running out, somehow all the essential bills kept getting paid, thanks to a few friends and people who showed me that I do have real friends. My grandmother was also a huge help, picking up whatever slack she could, all the while encouraging me to continue my pursuit of music blogging and publishing career. In fact she was one of my main sponsors when I made my trips to Seattle and San Franscisco in September and August. And just when all of my resources seemed to dry up, the right opportunity appeared, and new resources came right along with it.
All in all when I think about all I went through in 2008, all of the trials and triumphs, starting a new year presents a sense of freshness. I could easily have gone into the new year depressed and bitter, desperately hoping for something better. Instead I started the new year knowing I am on the path to my vision and that I was already blessed. I was already beginning to manifest my destiny.
As part of that manifestation, I know I must leave behind poverty: literally and figuratively. Its time for me to leave behind that poverty consciousness, being in a place of lack and limitation. I am always scraping by, no savings to speak of, no investments, no real assets. This is something I want to grow out of and not by buying things I can’t afford, but by paying off my debt, create residual income flow, and generally become financially healthy as I also become mentally and spiritually healthy.
I’m also planning to leave behind some of this emotional baggage I’ve picked up over the years, from relationships past. This one also coincides with my spiritual growth because its all about being in the present moment; not past, not future. Being in the present will help me to rid myself of any toxicity from the past, by enabling me to be in a place to forgive people unconditionally.
A few things I want to take into the new year are my new verve for life and the whirlwind of the new love I am experiencing. I believe a large part of why 2008 was more up than down for me, despite the financial struggles, was my shift in spiritual awareness. When I finally realized where my spiritual stagnation lied, I was able to let it go and move on to something better. At the time I didn’t know what that better thing was but I could feel myself being released into the next phase of life; emerging from my cocoon.
I have several goals for the year, projects I want to work on rather. One is to complete my application to the LSE/USC Global Communications Masters Program. I was supposed to apply last year, but it was obviously not the right time for that and here I have another opportunity to achieve this goal.
And even though its a bit late, I want to begin a 365 blogging project, meaning I will make sure to write a blog post, either here or on ShePlaysMusic.com, or both every day for the rest of the year. Ideally, I’ll do both, but I have to be realistic and know that sometimes one of them is not going to get updated on a certain day, and I’m ok with that.
Finally, and certainly not to be scoffed at is my spiritual homework assignment for the year. A few weeks ago we meditated on a theme for the year and I thought my word was prosperity. Apparently that was more about what I was hoping to get as opposed to what my word/theme really was. This weekend, while at dinner with friends, discussing the assignment, I was digging through angel/inspiration cards and pulled double clarity. So my quest this year is about clarity.
So everyday I will explore this word in anagram, giving each day a word for each letter of the root word, clarity. This fits well with my intention to blog here everyday and you, my friends and readers, will see as I embark upon this spiritual journey.
Here’s to the new year, letting go of the old, and embracing the new.